White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
