that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize