And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
