All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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