Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
