But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
