how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
