Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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