Who did Billy Mays play for?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
