Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
