you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
