You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize