You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
