So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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