I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
