Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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