to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
