He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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