it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
