I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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