I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
