So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
