I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
