"it" just moved
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I need a beard to bite.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
