Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
