UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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