In America we eat man semen.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize