How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
