Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize