I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
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you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
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I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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