ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She even gives head with a lisp.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
