Got a toothbrush?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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