i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
