You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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