Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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