Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
