I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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