discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
