How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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