a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
