I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
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