He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
