I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
