i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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