First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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