Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Randomize
