there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
