I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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