I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
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