so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
