so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
