I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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