i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
