let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I need to stop coming to work sober
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
