hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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