well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
