Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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