I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
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