we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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