I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
