remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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