I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
