8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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