Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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