we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
