It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
